How Do I Describe Me?

So, if someone sees me and even knows me for a tiny bit of time they’d say that I am a: shy, reserved, introverted, timid, softspoken, calm, patient, low self-esteem, under confident,sad, not smiley, very serious person and many such things. They.Are.All.True. And yet, I dislike the very fact that people box me into a certain type. I feel claustrophobic and stereotyped. If I am not fitted into one of the above types then it has to most likely be done with my hair, skin, accent or whatever else that catches people’s eyes. Why is there such a high need to label people? Why can’t we just be? Live and perhaps just let live. I ask for the impossible. It makes me angry but most often it makes me sad, very sad and leaves me feeling empty from the inside and the outside.

Since childhood right to my adulthood now (going to be 35 soon), I have had to answer stupid questions like, “Why are you so quiet?” Honestly, I don’t know what answer I give but I think I just smile out of embarassment because obviously I do not fit the “world’s” description of a human being. Everyone is born to be noisy and gregarious. Questions such as these make me want to scream at myself and do something that would make me look less weird. Although, according to me we all are just as weird if not more. If it’s not questions such as these, I am interrogated differently such as, Öh how come your nationality is such and such… What should I say? I got lucky? I certainly didn’t rob the identity of someone but you see my colour, my hair, my race, my accent, my birth country are all bloody responsible for me to be undeserving of a certain nationality (although I am it by virture of birth) …

How do I describe me? I am made up of so much more than what you can see, what I let you see, so much more than what words I speak but actually withhold the words I wish to say, so much more. I am a mixture of everything from my experiences, inexperiences, to my beliefs, to principles… Yes, I am quiet but I am talkative too, yes, I am shy but I am extroverted too, yes, I love my home staying in my house all day long but I’d love going out too, yes I have a sad face but sometimes it breaks into a smile too, yes I am boring but sometimes I can be interesting too…

In the so many years of my life on this earth, I am still trying to figure the nuances of me and yet you’ve met me for two minutes and you think you know me well enough so that you can write my autobiography?


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